Jun 13
thats for you….
i find recently that i am having some of the strangest dreams… dreams about people i havent met yet and have only seen in pictures, people i’ve never met, people i know quite well but are acting out of character in my dreams. i have know idea whats going on my head when i sleep at night these days. hell i dont even know whats going on in my head when i’m not asleep. i feel dislocated and all discombobulated, like im detached in some manner that is very uncomphy to me. sometimes i feel like the world around me is going slower than me, other times faster. when i sleep i wake up tired, restless and confused most of the time. have i hit some weird mystical roadblock in my life? are my bizzare dreams trying to tell me something? for example: hanging out with an ex of mine (we will call him J) by the side of a river, it’s very hot outside, the trees are green but the shallow river has ice chunks floating in it, like little glaciers. J turns to me and hands me a butterfly caccoon and as i’m holding it in my hand it splits open and a HUGE red butterfly comes out, pumps its wings a few times leaving behind what looks like soot on my hand and flys off… he smiles and says “thats for you” and kisses my forehead. the butterfly lands on a tree on the other side of the water and the tree turns to ash and then flys off…. another one… With a friend i have not met yet (we shall call her Fae) … I’m getting off a plane, see Fae, she smiles and gives me a huge hug and we hurry along. after getting out of the air port the pavement cracks below our feet and we both just kinda laugh about it… as we’re walking to the car every step we take the pavement cracks and we continiously find this funny. once in the car Fae looks at me and says “I’m ready”.. next thing i know we are in this huge tunnle with lots of lightning bugs driving way too fast, both of us still laughing. it goes black and once again i’m sitting beside a shallow river, with Fae, this time its very warm outside but its snowing and the water is a weird purple pink color and seems to be flowing as if its really thick. she looks at me… hands me a rock thats almost perfectly round, its cracks and theres a large white spirder inside of it. it shakes like a dog would shaking off water, leaving behind a silvery glitter like substance and skitters down my legs to the ground. she takes my hand, kisses my palm and says “thats for you”. another one… I’m back stage at a concert apparently involved with the singer of the band, he is a rather tall built guy i have never seen before in my life… he calls me out on stage with him and i very timidly go to his side, the crowd is huge, tons of people as far as i can see until the light doesnt reach and its just black. he turns me to my back is facing the crowd and pushes me into them smiling and says “Let go”. as i fall into the people i feel my body hit water, i’m then being pulled out of the shallow river again which is now flowing black, its a perfect fall day, the huge trees around us are bright oranges and yellows and the ground is covered in fallen leaves… he pulls me up into a warm embrace and kisses my cheek and hands me a lemon. the lemon splits down the middle and a small brightly colored bird flys out leaving behind a trail of embers, he tilts his head to once said and says “thats for you”. I dont get it…
